Confessions

Everyday that goes by is busy. I feel as though the world never stops spinning; Monday, shopping and swimming, Tuesday, sewing and swimming, Wednesday, swimming and swimming. You get the picture. In addition to all the swimming and shopping and sewing there is the little matter of my family and being all that they need me to be: cook, dietitian, psychiatrist, friend, cheerleader and so on. I really think that all moms must balance this multi-tasking existence and we must do it in such a way that keeps us moving forward. With all this being said, however, when is there time for ME?

Candice has asked me and all our bible study to go through the cathartic process of confession (on a small scale) to each other. What is it that takes up our thought processes and how can we better focus them in on where they should be? At what point does our multi-tasking minutiae overtake our good sense? When she asked me to think about this, I realized what I need to confess. Of course my family is already well-aware of what takes my brain away from them. Of what makes me tell them to "give me 5 more minutes and I'll come kiss you goodnight." I confess, I am a Twi-Hard.

For those of you who have NO idea of what I speak, I am completely obsessed with Bella and Edward of Twilight. I love them, I love the books, I love the romance, I love the drama. I can escape to Forks, Washington in my head whenever I want, and I do, at least once every waking hour. My top 5 searches on Google are Twilight Source, Twilight Moms, Bella and Edward and 2 Robert Pattinson websites. Yes, it is a sickness. But I cannot seem to rid myself of knowing what is going on with the making of the next movie, what Stephenie Meyer is up to now, or re-reading the entire series for the 5th time just in case it turns out differently or I find something that I missed the first 4 times I read them.

It should be noted that I resisted this entire world for a long time. My oldest daughter begged me to read the series and for 8 months I brushed it off as "weird" and "not worthy of my time." But then, being stuck in the hospital for 3 days having my 7th child, she sagely left the first volume with me knowing full well that between reading or watching the "judge" shows on in the daytime, I would read anything. After all, isn't this the woman who spent her entire beach vacation week reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince when it came out a few years ago? Ignoring her family's pleas to join them and engage with them. Ahh, Harry, that's another story. I digress.

I remember finishing the first book the day after I got home with new baby and absolutely ravenous for the next one. Thankfully, the last book had already been published, so I was at my leisure to read them and didn't have to attend any midnight parties to pick one up. The first movie had come out - Lucy had already seen it - a few months before, but it was still in the theaters, so we went to see it together. Since then, I have become such a nerd it is hard to even admit it to myself. My daughter is amazed that I am so obsessed and finds it hilarious that Bella and Edward are part of our lives in such a way. "Geez mom, they aren't really real, you know."

I try very hard not to let this obsession get in the way of things that really need to be done - the swimming, the sewing, the shopping. But it isn't easy. I have discovered that I can compartmentalize and change my focus. Right, and when that doesn't work, my IPOD can hold all the podcasts and audio books there are. Sigh, like I said, a sickness. ...K